Trust. Pain. Run.

Trust-Pain-Run

He told me I could trust him, he told me he was different, that he would never hurt me.

That is the last time I will believe a guy. I am sitting on my bed in the corner of my room, hugging my knees, heaving from the pain in my chest.

I can still feel him on me, touching me.

My skin crawls. My bed smells of him, he is everywhere.

Warm tears roll down my cheeks.

I cant see him again, he'll hurt me, I know he will.

He threatened me already, he told me if I don't keep my mouth shut there'll be a price to pay.

I shudder.

I can't stay.

Slowly I get to my feet and open my cupboard.

I can't do this.

I drop down again and cover my face.

Why am I so weak?

I take two deep breaths and breathe out slowly. Let's try this again...

I stand again, my neck hurts from where he gripped me when I refused to keep my mouth shut about what he did to me.

I rub it slowly, remembering it so clearly.

It started when my parents were at work and he came over to watch a movie with me.

He sat really close to me and kept nudging my leg with his hand. Then he placed his hand on my thigh – I didn't object because he is my boyfriend and it was normal.

But when his hand started moving up I stared getting uncomfortable. I told him to stop but he asked me if I didn't like it. I shook my head and told him not now.

He just smiled and carried on.

He touched me in places I was not comfortable with. At all.

He only touched that time, nothing else.

When my parents came home he just sat back and put his arm around me, smiling at my parents. After awhile he announced that he should go, he hugs my mother goodbye and shakes my father's hand. I walked him to the door.

He winked at me and kisses me, telling me he'll see me soon.

I shiver at the memory. It got worse, much worse.

I never told anyone.

I pull my tog bag out from the bottom of my cupboard and stuff clothes in.

As I zip my bag up my mother calls me.

“Jordan is here!”

Oh God... he is here... Now!

I start to panic, my vision starts to cloud, I don't know what to do. He's going to do horrible things to me again, I can't stay, I just can't.

I hear footsteps coming towards my bedroom door.

It's him!

I throw my bag out of my window and climb out after.

As I feel the grass under my feet I run, I run down my street and I continue running until I struggle to breathe and have to slow down.

I had left my cellphone on my night-stand.

I turn left onto my best friend's street and walk up to her house, I knock on the door and wait.

The door swings open moments later and my best friend wraps her arms around me.

“Your mother just phoned, she said you ran away, what happened? She said Jordan came around to take you out and you were gone...” she pushes me away and searches my face.

I burst into tears at the thought of what Jordan would've done to me tonight.

“Come!” she pulls me into her house, her mum starts saying that she's going to phone mymother and tell her I am all right, but Alice stops her. “Not yet mom,” she says and we walk into her bedroom.

I tell Alice everything about Jordan at the end, she stands, picks up the closest thing to her and throws it at her bedroom wall, a few curses follow suit.

“We need to tell the police, you can stay here for as long as you want, we'll phone your mother and tell her and we wont let Jordan in. The Police can handle the rest.”Alice paces the room, I nod and lay my head on one of her pink fluffy pillows.

I feel better, I going to be okay now.

Alice puts a blanket over me and lies down beside me.

I fall into a sleep with no more nightmares. I am safe now.

I'll never trust someone like Jordan ever.

The pain is gone but it is still there, it will always be there.

I'll be ready to run again if I have too...