Come And Go
"We're losing her!" I hear them shout through the darkness.
"No we not, give me a charge!" I hear a sharp noise and then my body jolts.
I push the voices away, concentrating on the darkness around me.
I am dying from a head injury...
This is my time...
I relax and everything goes calm and quiet.
Suddenly things start to lighten, shapes form around me as my vision clears.
I am not in the operating room anymore...
"She's gone..." i hear the surgeon say, but it is barely louder than a whisper.
When i gain focus i realise that I am in a park. A deserted park with a jungle-gym, a swing and a sandpit.
Where am I?
Suddenly an elderly woman appears and starts walking towards me.
"Gran?" I squint at the beautiful woman with long silver hair. The woman smiles. "How is this possible? Is this death? Where am I?" I ask her.
"Sshh dear," the woman, my grandmother, hugs me tightly. "It is not your time to go. You still have so much to live for! You need to be here, to change what will happen. You have been given another chance dear, use it!" she explains and slowly begins to fade.
"Wait! Gran!" I shout.
The silence is suddenly interrupted by children screaming and laughing.
I look around.
Children are everywhere; playing on the jungle-gym, in the sandpit, running around. I stare in awe...
De ja vu hits me and I swing around, a little girl is sitting on the bench alone.
Without even looking I know she is wearing a purple shirt, pink tights with purple polka dots and a pink coat with a pink beanie covering her dark hair.
I also know that her left furry pink boot has a blue stain on it from when she tried to colour it in with a blue marker.
I know, because the little girl is me...
The little girl, with the long brown hair and crystal blue eyes is me, ten years ago. I was nine years old on this day and I remember, I was happy.
Today was...
Suddenly I realise what gran was speaking about. Today ruined my life!
I glance at little me, she has hopped off the bench. I don't have enough time. I run to myself just as she is about to cross the road.
"No!" I grab her and pull her out of the road just as a car slams on breaks and screeches to a halt.
Mini me screams and I hold her tightly against me.
"Sshh... You're okay. You're okay... sshh." I stroke her hair, her beanie fell off and is lying in front of the car.
"Oh my God!" a woman cries as she jumps out of the car, "I didn't even see you until the last minute." Fear is stretched across her beautiful face, my sister's face. My sister is ten years older than me, which makes her nineteen years old on this day.
"I'm so sorry!" she glances at me, "Thank you so much!" I am still holding little me, who is crying.
"I can't imagine what would've happened if I had hit her!" she murmurs.
I can...
You would look down at your baby sister's body which is covered in blood and you'd cry and scream. Your parents would run out of the house across the road, there would be blood everywhere. Your mother would scream at you and hit you while your brother picks up your little sister's body and drives her to the hospital. You would get kicked out of the family and no one would like you. The hospital would save your sister but can only reconstruct her scull with a temporary plate. They will give her five years to live because the plate will need to be replaced but it will be too traumatic and she will die anyway. But she will outlive the five years and on her nineteenth birthday she will get rushed to hospital because the plate holding her scull breaks and touches her brain and she dies...
Well, I think I die...
Am I dead?
"Are you alright?" she finally asks her little sister. The little me nods at our sister, my sister... Who I haven't seen since this day happened. She is beautiful, our mother is too.
"Okay, good, please don't tell mom okay? I have to go now, be nice to this kind girl, okay?" she motions to me and then climbs back into her car and drives away.
I pull away from mini-me. I pick up her beanie and pull it back onto her head.
"Thank you," she says and I smile. I gently wipe her wet cheeks.
"Listen, I don't know if I have much time but promise me you will do three things for me." I say.
"I promise," Mini-Me nods.
"Be nice to your brother, sister and parents. No matter what happens, forgive them and love them unconditionally. You need them," I smile at her. When i left for boarding school five years ago I never saw my brother and parents ever again.
"Stay close with Stan Venn." I say, my second point. Mini-Me's eyes widen, she knows who he is. She should, he is her neighbor. "Promise me you will never leave him." I squeeze her shoulder.
Stan Venn is a boy I met when i was really really little, he was this little chubby kid who was my best friend until I hit puberty and felt I was too cool for that fat kid and we disconnected when I went Boarding school and avoided him at all costs. Which hurt him and he did not deserve that.
"Lastly, love life okay? Do everything to the fullest! As best you can!" I say because I regret the chances I didn't take because of my head injury.
"I promise!" Mini-Me nods again and hugs me tightly.
I get a tingly feeling and I know what it means.
"I have to go now. You be good okay? Be careful and... Don't break the promises..." I slowly move away from her as things begin to blur.
I lose focus and I am back in darkness.
I can't breathe, I force myself to take a deep breath, to move, to open my eyes, to escape the darkness. I struggle for air.
"HA!" I gasp loudly, the sensation of air moving into my lungs is amazing.
I hear a loud beeping noise and look around. An alarm clock is going off on the bedside table. I hit the snooze button and climb out of the bed which feels oddly familiar.
Where am i?
I leave the bedroom and walk into the next room, a lounge with an open kitchen.
"Aw, there she is! Happy birthday my dear!" A woman smiles at me.
"Morning Gorgeous!" A hunky man puts his arm around me and kisses me. "Happy birthday!"
What is going on?
I look around at everyone sitting on the couches. My parents, my brother and my sister! They're all here. And it is my birthday... I am not in hospital. I am not dead. I'm alive!
"Stan honey, get the presents please, they're by the door." My mother says to the hunky guy.
Stan... Stan Venn...
Oh My God!
Stan Venn is my boyfriend!
"Come here, I want to see the ring!" My sister jumps up and grabs my left hand, revealing a huge diamond ring.
"Wow!" I gasp.
Stan Venn and I are engaged! Stan Venn is hot!
I take a moment to think back and try remember the last ten years. Everything is there. My first kiss, my birthdays. Everything.
"Six years of dating and he's already claimed you!" My sister teases.
I changed my life! I can even remember seeing myself at the park!
This is crazy!
Stan comes back and kisses my forehead and I am filled with all the love I have for him. It's real!
"You have a lovely home, sweetie!" Mum hugs me tightly.
"Thanks mum... I - I love you!" I say and she squeezes harder.
"I love you too, Baby."
I pull away before I start crying.
I did a good job at keeping a promise to myself, I really did.
I put my arms around Stan and kiss him like I am going to die tomorrow.
Life is beautiful!
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